I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
