It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
