So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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