This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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