omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
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