so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
