come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
