Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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