My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
sarcasm needs its own font
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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