Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
