Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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