I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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