i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I supernannyed him into submission
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
