I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
