I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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