he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize