oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
