So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
