Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
