your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
