youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
