Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
