bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
