If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
