How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Someone came in the potted fern
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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