'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
ttyl tear gas
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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