what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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