plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
