The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
