dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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