I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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