Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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