her vagina looked like bernie madoff
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
