The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
