OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize