if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
