Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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