Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
