I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
