Already got asked if we're dating
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
