the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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