it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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