apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
