But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
