Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
