My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
