Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he was CRYING into my vagina
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
