if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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