i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Randomize
