I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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