I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
