ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize