i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
