I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize