Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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