Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my being single is dangerous.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
