You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
