New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
