My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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