8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
