He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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