and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
