census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
