The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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