dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
