we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
