He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
