My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize