Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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