i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize