Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
