We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
