hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
